Keeping the Spark

Chapter 7:The Warm, Happy Marriage: Cold, Hard Facts to Consider
"Marriage between a man and woman us ordained or God" The Family, A Proclamation to the World

This chapter often digs into intimacy and what it means within the bonds of marriage, and how important it is for a husband and wife to draw closer together.

Elder Parly P. Pratt stated

“Our natural affections are planted in us by the Spirit of God, for a wise purpose; and they are the very main-springs of life and happiness—they are the cement of all virtuous and heavenly society—they are the essence of charity, or love; …

“There is not a more pure and holy principle in existence than the affection which glows in the bosom of a virtuous man for his companion; …

“The fact is, God made man, male and female; he planted in their bosoms those affections which are calculated to promote their happiness and union” (Writings of Parley Parker Pratt, 52–53).

President Spencer W. Kimball

“Your love, like a flower, must be nourished. There will come a great love and interdependence between you, for your love is a divine one. It is deep, inclusive, comprehensive. It is not like that association of the world which is misnamed love, but which is mostly physical attraction. When marriage is based on this only, the parties soon tire of each other. There is a break and a divorce, and a new, fresher physical attraction comes with another marriage which in turn may last only until it, too, becomes stale. The love of which the Lord speaks is not only physical attraction, but spiritual attraction as well. It is faith and confidence in, and understanding of, one another. It is a total partnership. It is companionship with common ideals and standards. It is unselfishness toward and sacrifice for one another. It is cleanliness of thought and action and faith in God and his program. It is parenthood in mortality ever looking toward godhood and creationship, and parenthood of spirits. It is vast, all-inclusive, and limitless. This kind of love never tires or wanes. It lives on through sickness and sorrow, through prosperity and privation, through accomplishment and disappointment, through time and eternity” (Faith Precedes the Miracle, 130–31).

Much easier quoted, than written in my own words :)

This semester, I have been taking two courses that have covered family and marriage life, and to be honest, things look pretty dim in the world based on marriages. The divorce rates are high. The separation rates are high. The co-habitation rates are high. The domestic abuse rates are high. Everything that should be low, is high. I think it goes to show what a selfish world we are living in. When I was preparing for marriage last summer, I took a course through my singles ward. We focused on entering the temple and becoming a spouse. We were able to receive insight and advice from our Bishop's wife, a truly wonderful woman. We were able to discuss the needs and desires in a marriage. She strained the responsibility to fulfill those needs, intimate or not. Speaking with my mother, days before my own wedding, she stressed to me the importance of pleasing your husband. She reminded me that thoughtful and selfless service will truly help love grow. Now, being married for a short while, I have seen how serving your spouse in many different ways can be beneficial. The spark can easily grow dim, allowing for feelings of lost love or attraction to fill the voids. It doesn't take much to remind your spouse that they are appreciated or that they look beautiful. Keeping a marriage warm and happy is doable, we just need to stop focusing on ourselves and think as the Lord would think. 

This is the engagement picture we used in our invitations to our Wedding! Just thought it might be nice touch to this post!

In one of my other courses, I was able to share some of my thoughts with my instructor about marriage trends today, and I think that apply here as well.

First and foremost, I feel like I see more and more people treat marriage as a casual relationship, something that will not and does not have to affect them for the rest of their lifetime, if so be the case. Many people go in to a marriage, knowing that there is an easy way out at the signature of a document. I feel like people do not place enough time and effort into choosing a worthy spouse that is compatible and in tune with the other person. President Thomas B. Holman stated in the September 2002 Ensign, “Prophetic counsel teaches us that finding a marriage partner takes spiritual sensitivity, maturity, and preparation—including preparing ourselves to be the right spouse.” Not only are we jumping into the arms of anyone who proposes marriage to us, but we are not focused on the kind of spouse we should be. So many times, I hear or read about how someone else wronged an individual. We are so quick to place blame on others instead of accepting our own responsibilities. I think that this is another idea that factors into divorce and its affect on children. We often see divorcees blaming one another, teaching their children that this is an acceptable practice when things do not go our way. Overall, there are so many different actions that can affect young children. We know that we set an example for them with each action we do, and each word we say. It is so important for us to prepare and plan to have a successful marriage instead of being consistently casual with our thoughts about having a spouse, being a spouse, marriage and divorce.

Thanks for reading!

Love, 

Leah